27 November 2011

Dear Memory,
The tales that are written on you,
Make Heart bleed, and weep in pain,
Please erase, recite no more.

***

Dear Paths,
You twain crossed, then swiftly diverged,
And left behind a lonely Heart,
Please look back, reunite once more.

***

Dear Time,
Fate you have conspired with,
To separate Heart from Joy,
Please make way for them, to be.

***

Dear Chance,
You let Heart sip the sweet wine of Love,
Then gave nothing but bitter Despair,
Please relieve its thirst, let it live.

***

Dear Dreams,
You promised Heart a Garden of Fulfilment,
But the Land of the Lost, is where it now stands,
Please speak lies no more, and show what’s real.

***

Wednesday, 23rd November 2011

09 November 2011

If I had the courage to write you a letter, this is what I would have written.

I may have grown up wishing that I had more. I may have grown up asking for unreasonable things, that you could not provide. I may have said hurtful things back then. I don’t know, but if I did, I want to apologise and tell you that you have done more than what anyone else can do.

As time goes by, I have come to learn what sacrifice you have made in order to bring us this far. When things got tough, you did not abandon us. Instead you sacrificed your ambition in order to nurture us, despite the limitations. I have watched silently, as you face the harsh reality and have your expectation be shattered to pieces. I know, how much you have regretted all these circumstances, and yet you remain where we are for our sake. You know, I wish my lips could utter these words to you, “Let’s get out of here.” But nay, I have not had the courage to say them. I fear that by uttering these words, I will become a bad person. But then again, maybe my not saying it, is the reason you have endured so much.

It is still ingrained into my memory, when you said you wished you could have given us more. But really, you have given more than what you could have. Now I notice how you try making us happy by buying us the finer things in life later on. I can only say, a child I no longer am. Maybe back then I said I wanted this and that. But really, now I desire nothing of materialistic nature. I am content with what I have. I may not have the luxury, but I am quite fine with living a modest lifestyle. I understand that you have the instinct to give us something as an expression of love, to make us happy. Still, my happiness depends not on all these materialistic things. I am happy as long as you are happy. I am happy if you can ever find within you, a sense of peace – something that I suspect you have not had for the longest time.

All I want to say, is that you have done enough for us. I am content with what I have, and what I have saved up for the future. On that note, maybe you feel that I need more so that I can be happy, but rest assured that is not the case. Please have faith that I can take charge of my own life, and that I make my decision based on what (I think) is best for me. You may neither agree nor see the worth in my dreams, but please know that without these dreams I will feel ‘hollow’ and ‘meaningless’ – that is not something that you want your beloved one to feel, is it? Also, you often say that I can be more beautiful by doing such and such thing, which in turn will attract more people. Thing is, I would like to believe that I am beautiful the way I am now. I understand I am a woman of imperfection and faults, but that does not mean I should try to mould myself to fit in the ‘beauty’ stereotype. And I would like to believe, that I can feel beautiful because someone loves me for who I am, and not I am loved by someone because I look beautiful. So have more confidence in me, and I shall have more confidence in myself.

Once again, I want you to know that I am content with my life...

25 September 2011

++ Another ++

Another trial [from my Lord],
Another event to bemoan,
Another fire ignited,
Another bitter word swallowed,
Another piece of heart shattered,
Another self esteem destroyed,
Another sorrow carved within,
Another ocean of tears shed,
Another distance set apart,
Another silence to unfold,
Another coldness to engulf,
Another burden to carry.

But above everything else,
It is another chance from Him,
To prove my worth, and arise,
And become a stronger being.

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 25th September 2011, 22:35

13 September 2011

++ Games ++

Another old one sitting inside my folder, unfinished. Pardon the abrupt ending but I really could not relate to what I felt at the time when I started writing this piece.

***

One voice cried,

“Friend, Life I truly despise,
For all the games that it tries,
One time it flies us high,
To draw the heavens nigh,
Suddenly it pulls us down,
To leave us alone, and drown.

Now what remains is poison,
I know not if I’ll hold on,
Save me, I want to live,
Life I long to believe.”

Another spoke,

“Blame not Life, the Innocent,
Who but watches us mortals,
Playing games with each other,
Crafting masks of deception;
Threading words of fallacy;
Singing songs of shallow love,
False friendship, empty labels.

When the trusting fools are scarred,
By the thorns of betrayal,
The Guilty shall not be Life,
But us, the skill’d deceivers.”

Thus it concluded in silence,
And they quietly departed,
To return to the Play,
That we humans have staged,
For eternity.


Original: 29th April 2011
Finalised:13th September 10:11 pm
Sydney (Ashburner Street)

++ Promise Unfulfilled ++

As I dug my old folder, I found some unfinished poems that I started writing ages ago. So I thought I'd finish it, though there might be a change of 'feel' in the middle XD. So here is one of them:

***

You said, “Cry not my love,
Today we may not be,
But we will meet again,
In the Garden of Peace.

Where we will sit side by side,
On vast green, and soft carpet,
Embroidered with a thousand,
Of flowers in full blossom.

There will linger the sweet scent,
Of the ripe and tender fruits,
Of all kinds, all near to hands,
Made abundant to us twain.

Then chirping birds, gushing springs,
And hushing breeze we will hear,
As they joyfully sing for,
The day you and I, are One.

Eternal companions, we will be.”

Those words I have held on to,
But now blurred is the vision,
Of the Garden I once beheld,
When you kissed me a farewell.

Do you know, the hands of time,
Have ever since pulled me down,
To the depth of despair,
And Peace I upheld no more?

The calm water then turned into fire,
That burned and consumed me from within,
Now I behold a barren, dying field,
Where one hopes not for redemption.

Tell me, my long lost Love,
Will you and I still be?
Will there still be a way,
For me to be, where you are?

Original: Sydney, 25th March 2011
Finalised: Sydney, 12 September 2011, 10:58pm

07 April 2011

++ Silent Words ++

It began with a silent word,
Exchanged from miles away,
“Peace!”
Voiceless, and yet, profound,
The path of solitude we once walked,
Had since disappeared,
And we are alone no more.

In the Land of the Free,
Where day and night are one,
And distance exists not,
Silent words unite us,
Rejectors of indoctrination,
Believers of free will.

Though this silence you cannot hear,
Can you feel, this growing hope?
That the day will come to pass,
When the walls of traditions are broken,
The holy authorities frighten no more,
Shackled minds are set free,
And mankind will be one.

---

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 7th April 2011 22:04

09 February 2011

++ Curse ++

A curse cast upon us,
For a sin committed,
In our previous life.

Know we not, how to mend,
And only punishment,
Keeps repeating itself.

Say, how many cycles,
Of this pain and sorrow,
Have we twain experienced?

Say, how many more years,
‘Til we are forgiven,
And we can love again?

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 9th February 8:48pm

29 January 2011

++ Hey Girl ++

Hey Girl, it’s been a while,
Since you said a bitter goodbye,
Left me as you walked a new life,
You’d move on, find another love,
That’s what you said.

But nay! I trust you’re able not,
For we’ve been together for years,
I know you, more than anyone,
Without me, you are insecure,
And without power.

Hey Girl, what brings you here now?
Standing alone on the edge,
This face, is all too familiar,
Something troubles you, I know,
On a runaway.

Miss you of our time together?
I was your only faithful friend,
Was there when the world denied you,
Gave you the chance to take control,
Of your life and self.

Hey Girl, come closer, worry not,
Trust me, we’ve been here many times,
I’m here to help you, take my hands,
And together we will dive down,
‘Til eternity.

++ Come ++

"Come to that place of old,
A place we called 'sanctuary',
Where harsh reality reached you not,
And your life you took control.

Come to that place of old,
Fear not, we've been there many times,
You survived and still stood tall,
One more visit shall do no harm."

The voice of the past calls me,
And breathes the air of nostalgia,
Alluring, bewitching,tempting,
And I know not how to resist.

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 29th January 1:15am

28 January 2011

++ Words ++

You may think,
Your words construct perfection,
You may think,
Your words carry righteousness,
You may think,
Your words are for my benefits,
You may think,
Your words are realities.

But...

Do you know,
Your words shatter my self esteem?
Do you know,
Your words awaken the devil in me?
Do you know.
Your words have only brought me to a fall?
Do you know,
Your words have been nothing but lies?

And I believe them.
All these years,
Has been hell.

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 28th January 2011 10:06pm

26 January 2011

++ Star ++

A shadow, I want not to be,
Whose presence only lingers,
When light shines upon you,
And wanes when darkness smiles.

Let me be a shining star,
Though from you I am far,
I will light your night,
And guide, ‘til morning comes.

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 26th January 11:32pm

++ Layang-layang ++

Hai layang-layang penuh warna,
Terlihat bebas engkau terbang,
Namun dia jauh di sana,
Memegangmu erat dengan benang.

Sesekali dia menarikmu,
Memotong jarak, dan mendekat,
Dan sesekali dia mengulur,
Membuatmu jauh, dan jauh.

Apa nasibmu kelak, hai layang-layang?
Akankah dia pulang denganmu di genggamannya,
Atau akankah angin waktu menghempasmu,
Dan hilang engkau dari hidupnya?

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 26th January 10:51pm

24 January 2011

++ Red ++

It drips, drop by drop,
Slowly, endlessly,
Takes a little life,
From inside of me.

It drips, drop by drop,
Pierces through my skin,
Gives a tingling pain,
A guilty pleasure.

It drips, drop by drop,
What is it I see?
My hand’s drenched in red,
And I feel so numb.

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 24th January 2011 00:36

20 January 2011

++ Entah ++

Indonesian (Original Version)
Entah sampai kapan,
Aku melukis bayang-bayang,
Menggoreskan warna masa depan,
Di atas kanvas angan-angan,
Mungkin nanti,
Saat ‘kau katakan semua ‘tak ‘kan terjadi,
Dan nanti,
‘Ku harus rela ‘tuk melepas hati...


English (Translation)

God knows when it will come to pass,
That I stop painting [your] shadows,
Streaking hopeful colour of the future,
Onto the canvas of dreams and illusion,
Maybe then,
When you say that all can never be,
And then,
I must find the strength to let my heart go...

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 19th January 2011 7:06 pm

++ Hilang ++

Indonesian (original version)

Mencari permata kehidupan,
Di antaranya padang ilalang,
Namun tiada kutemukan,
Karena engkau telah hilang.

English

The diamond of Life, I seek,
In the midst of spear grass field,
But I shall never find it,
‘Cause you are no longer here...



Sydney (Ashburner Street), 20th January 2011 11:02pm

02 January 2011

++ Promises ++

Dear Love,

Remember you, of the night?
When the news broke, and I cried
‘Forgive me Dear, I must go.’
Those painful words you uttered

Remember you, of that bitter morning?
When the time came, and you kissed me goodbye
‘Wait for me Dear, I’ll go home with glory.’
A promise made, and it keeps me living

Now two autumns has fallen since waiting became me
Not one night has gone by, that you visit not my thoughts
Are you well still, when the land treats you unkindly?
Are you lonely, when none at night keeps you company?

Love, can you hear what I long to say?
I want you not to be a hero
Who yields sword and fight ‘til your last blood,
And leaves but a painful name behind

So please, when the fire’s ahead,
Don’t be a hero, think of us,
Keep yourself safe, and come home soon.
I am here still, waiting for you.

I miss you.

***

Remember when we started, Jo?
I said, “Kid, I’ll be your Big Bro.”
“I’ll keep you safe under my wing!”
That promise, I have now fulfilled.

But hear, there is one promise,
I made, and now will have to break,
A lady, come to her, and tell,
Don’t wait anymore, and sorry.

‘Cause I feel the time is drawing near,
The bullet inside has stopped burning,
My body is turning numb and cold,
And the world becomes a sea of blur.

I wish I can witness the moments,
When the field becomes green once again,
When the smoke no longer suffocates,
Then we will loudly cry, “Victory!”

But no. It is time for me to go,
This battle you’ll have to fight alone
Promise me that you’ll keep yourself safe,
And tell her the words I cannot say,

Stand tall, and move on,
I love you. Always.

Farewell.

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 2nd january 2011 19:10pm

++ Hey There Jonah ++

I heard stories about you, Jonah,
How fear overwhelmed you, and you ran,
Then the arrow sold your life away,
And inside the belly, you became.

Jonah, I too am here, the belly!
But why, can’t find you here, where are you?
Is it true what they said, you survived?
You swam to the shore, and regained life?

It is dark Jonah, and I am scared!
The fish inside me is growing bigger,
It consumes me, uncontrollably,
As if telling me, I’m powerless.

Can you hear my call, Jonah?
Show me the way out of here,
And how to be where you are,
To the land of peace, and joy.

The land, Of Redemption.

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 2nd January 2011 1:02am

++ This Place ++

This place is cold,
When I enter,
I deeply sigh,
Another day…

This place is cold,
And we are ghosts,
Invisible,
To each other.

This place is cold,
For ev’ry word,
That is exchanged,
Carves pain within.

This place is cold,
Suspicious heart,
Grows, and makes trust,
Non-existent.

This place is cold,
I start having,
Thoughts that aren’t me,
But they control.

This place is cold,
Unpleasant voice,
Speaks, and shatters,
My self-esteem.

This place is cold,
So tell me how,
To make it warm,
For all of us.

Sydney (Ashburner Street), 2nd January 2011 12:33am